Life with chronic illnesses or diseases is very hard to go through. I know for many of us who struggle so much. I myself struggle a lot I can’t find the energy or strength. I can only be awake for so long before I end up falling asleep. Pain keeps me up at night and I cry my eyes out. I don’t understand and I don’t know why I have so much going on with my body. It’s a tough time in my life but a happy time too. I have the best family and fiancé who takes care of me and understands. I have meltdowns and breakdowns because I’m exhausted from the pain. Sometimes I can’t sleep at night it’s hard to lay on my back.. or my left or right side. My ribs will hurt and cause me a lot of pain. It will keep me awake and make me cry. I choose not to take any narcotics or any type of medicine. The reason why is I want to keep my body from getting sicker. Medicines can cause those problems later down the line. I only take Motrin(Ibuprofen) when I need it. I use lidocaine rub gel to numb the pain. I’ll have the hardest days when I can’t get out of bed because my body hurts to bad. I have to force myself to eat and drink at times. The pain can be so intense it makes me feel like I have the flu. I know I’m strong and I get through every day.. I get through the pain! I’m 23 years old and I’m not like a lot of 23 years old. I don’t party do drugs or can’t be out at night. I never would even if I was well. My body restricts me and it’s really hard. I wanna be like the other girls my age group. It’s hard feeling young when your body makes you feel like you’re in your 60s or older. It’s a hard and difficult time right now for me and my body. I know I will get through it and I’ll be stronger because of it. I might be hurting now but the pain won’t last forever. God has a plan.
Whether in life the things happen that we don’t understand. We can get so frustrated, upset, irritated, and so down about it. Usually when this occurs it puts people into a very un healthy state of mind. We go through what if? Could of been? Should of been? Why? I don’t understand? Why me? I don’t get it. I’m so worthless, useless, hopeless. I feel so hopeless. The enemy will give you all the regrets and make you feel so hopeless. He will fill your mind with unhealthy thoughts and choices. I know a lot of us often have looked back. Don’t say you haven’t. Everyone looks back when we should be looking forward. The enemy makes us want to turn around then go forward. It’s like you’re on a road traveling in the right direction, when something urges you and tells you why don’t you go this way instead? Oh
Come on! Just do it! You’re on a great path but why don’t you go backwards?
Just try it. When we try to go backwards we end up in the same situations and same trials. Instead we even regret it more. We should of just gone that way instead of the way I wanted. Whether it was relationships, trails, tribulations, Jobs, decisions or choices. Every step we make God follows behind us. Every backward step we make God knows and fixes it. You see friends I’ve learned so much. I really have! I have gone through some tough and crazy health issues. I’ve cried many tears and had many doubts. But I know one thing for sure through everything I went through. It had to happen. Why? Because it was apart of Gods Devine plan! Where you are in your life is where you are suppose to be ! God placed you right there. So don’t try to place yourself anywhere else. The pain you went through brought you were you are today. You are here for divine purpose. Everything you went through the past years and months.. it serves a purpose for you!! Why???? Because you can rejoice and be glad God brought you through it and helped you. He opened your eyes and showed you. He blessed you. He knew what you went through. He saw your tears, your pain, your heartache, your struggle, challenges. He closed doors that weren’t for you, he made things work for the good and best for you. Not the bad or worst for you. He knows our hearts. He has blessed you and given you a meaning and different look on life. He’s removed people, friendships, thoughts, and made you look forward to your future. They weren’t meant to be there and didn’t belong in your future. He protected you and helped you. Because it is for the good! He saw where you began and where you are now! However far you came God was there! However far he brought you he still was there! 2018 let’s look forward and everyday thank God for his strength and guidance! His love! God held us together and is always holding us together! God has a divine plan for all of us! So smack the devil in his face and say IM GLAD IT HAPPENED! God knew he had a plan and has a plan for me!!!
Whether you are a Christian or not you deserve a man who wants to invest in you, and will make you feel like the woman you are. You deserve that. Ladies don’t settle for less because, someone Great is out there for you. Just be patient! It will happen! 😊Your story is never over! It’s just beginning!
Recently my wonderful man and family got me a camera for Christmas! I am getting back into the photography field. I wanted to share my work. All photos have my copyright mark so no one tries to steal my photos!
She looked at him as a friend until she realized she loved him. 7 months baby! I’m so thankful and love you so much! I don’t just love you or like you. I’m in love with you. I wish I would of found you sooner so I could of loved you longer. We’ve gotten through a lot together and been through a lot. You are such a strong man and I’m lucky to have you babe. You help me get through everyday and my pain. It can be extremely difficult for me but you know the words to say. I cannot believe it’s already 7 months almost to a year! You have gone through a lot to and I’m proud of you and how you have handled these things. I’m always gonna be right at your side when you need me, always there each and every single day and step of our life together. Together we make a good team and will in the future. To many more on our journey and adventure together. As we continue to learn and grow. 😊You’re my soulmate my right hand wing man, my flight attendant, my partner in crime, my videogame partner, my life partner, my boyfriend, my love and my best friend. My forever until the end. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Everyday I look at you and think to myself how lucky am I? No I’m not lucky I’m blessed! Thank you for treating me like a princess and making me feel loved and important everyday. Thank you for caring for me and always be ready to help! You’re so generous babe! You have a generous heart!
Lord we come to you in our time of need, devastation, lives, and horrific things occurred on October 2nd 2017. Lord we come to you and ask for healing over those who were involved in the shooting, the survivors, we pray for the families of those who passed so innocently. We pray for those fighting for their lives with critical injuries. We pray for those who have minor injuries Lord. We ask for healing, comfort, and peace to surround those all effected and their families. We are devastated as a nation such an innocent and fun event turned into a nightmare and devastation. We need you Lord reach your arms and love for the families, the victims, the survivors and there families.
Today I woke up to devastating news Las Vegas had a shooting massacre. 100 injuries and 50 killed. My heart is devastated. I pray the victims went peacefully… so innocent. So much devastation in our World with hurricanes, fires, shootings, and natural disasters in 2017. We need to Pray for our World. We are suffering and we need the Lord.